Self Portrait and the Edge of the World
from Toby’s Sketchbook
Chapter 3, With the appearance of his house burning, Toby can no longer resist, and he begins his journey to Inlakesh.
Chapter 3, Toby experiences the dark holes and eventually learns their secrets and how to exist with them.
Carnival 4, As Toby begins to experience the growing disappointments in the Carnival, he begins to see it through different eyes.
Chapter 5, And the bookseller says, "Look at the saint’s expression, and the focus and peace in his eyes—while all that nonsense is going on. He is grounded in his God and sees only Him. Nothing distracts him; his bliss cannot be shaken. Now, that is how one should live in this world!”
Chapter 6, Toby's eyes begin to open to a whole different kind of world, one he could have never imagined being possible as he walks with Auriel, his twelve year old guide.
Chapter 7, "Toby could see in the eyes of each insect a doorway that led into its vast being-ness—a dimension of its own. Space became filled with all these “dimensions” flying about, each infinite and alive, coming together in the space/time dimension where Toby stood!"
Chapter 8, For the first time Auriel shows Toby how to call the River...and he does! But more, he learns how to let go and actually swim in it!
Chapter 8, Detail, The Eye of Awareness and the Changeless Reality opening up to deeper and deeper levels.
Chapter 9, “O beautiful world, O glorious world—full of sublime mystery, overflowing with Love—all held in the Oneness of the River.” (Toby)
Chapter 9, Detail, "Then, with a light hand, Toby started drawing the forms of the world— clouds, birds, mountains and mesas, trees, a stable and farmhouse, horses in the meadow with ducks, and someone tending their garden. He painted them with colors, transparent here and there, the way they seem to be, now and then, when one is swimming in the River. By now, the rendering of the forms of the world covered over much of the River. So Toby redrew some zigzags, curlicues, and a few lines..."
Chapter 10,“Wonder upon wonder! Individuation of Being in dynamic, energetic interaction!—within and of Oneness Itself!! O wonder upon wonder!” (Toby)
Chapter 10, At the end of the day of incredible revelations and experiences they have this last miracle to share- experiencing the visual universe
Chapter 11, "He (Toby) felt the sublime mystery of the bird’s existence, taking his breath away, as he began to sense the intelligence and will of Mind projecting the bird’s form into the mental landscape of Inlăkesh. Toby turned towards Auriel. “Everything is much more than it seems, and the miracle of what’s going on we don’t even suspect."
Chapter 11, He stood up inside The Great Fish, with room to spare. Inside The Great Fish, it was dark, but slowly things started to stand out. The Great Fish was much larger than one would think possible. Inside was vast space—really, really vast space. Toby started to see that it contained the whole of Inlăkesh. In fact, it contained the dream of the whole world, as well as other worlds, stars, and galaxies of stars! There were also other dimensions and plains of reality inside The Great Fish."
Chapter 12, "Toby turned around and watched the River filling and overflowing the village and the whole valley, and then spilling over into the Great Nothing! The dark space of the Great Nothing began to fade completely away in the glowing light of the River Is—Its light saturating every inch of it. Look, Soñadora no longer stands before the darkness of the Great Nothing, but before the radiance of Heaven!"